mrsdracula

MRS. DRACULA

The Draculas have been living secretly in the suburbs of Los Angles for many years, but one day the balance between three wives comes to an end when the local blood bank that has been feeding them is closed. Centuries of suppressed hostilities among the three hot blooded, Romanian Vampire women creates a midnight battle nearly brings the neighborhood down on them. This and the wrath of three women send Dracula, who is now overwhelmed and perplexed, fleeing for colder climes leaving his three wives to deal with themselves.

Deirdra Dracula is the youngest and smartest among the wives and manages to to do away with the other two, but as she returns to her abode one night, there is an eviction notice and the building that had been home for so long has now been condemned. She becomes depressed, but begins to notice around her women struggling in the same way, facing similar problems like lack of food, resources and a place to stay, an abusive husband that can’t be located. She decides that she can beat the odds and make a new life for herself when she sees a self help hero named Narcy Temple. She decides she needs to meet this woman to help get her death back on track.

Narcy accepts an invitation to the large and dusty house where she is greeted by  a lavish Deirdra Dracula in the midst of dirt and decay. The first thing Narcy advises her is to move out, get a nice clean place that will create some self esteem, a place that accepts pets, maybe get a pet. Of course, before she goes, Deirdra offers her some “very old wine” and they begin to talk of their personal lives, offering tales of abuse or misuse from seemingly opposite spectrums but finding common ground. They become quiet, Narcy is attracted, Deirdra stands slowly arching her back and we are left wondering as to the evening’s end.

Deirdra’s search for a new abode is constantly frustrated by the fact that none of the doorways are big enough to get her coffin through, the upscale model she had her husband get her in the 14th century was too heavy and ornate, consequently, as many other women in her position, she is forced to down grade in order to accommodate circumstances and now must shop for a new coffin that can be moved from place to place and sell her old one to a museum to finance her move.

She soon finds out, despite having loads of gold and jewels, she has no credit or job history, no one will let her rent, buy or borrow and she finds herself in the basement of a homeless shelter, but at least there’s plenty to eat with the constant flow of homeless people upstairs. She gets a bad meal once or twice from less than savory victims and it leaves her feeling sick.

Her once beautiful clothes and nice things are gone and she becomes very sad and depressed and starts to cry. One of the night janitors hears her, he sees she has a coffin and realizes her situation. He knows she’s a vampire but offers her a place away from the shelter where she can get it together, maybe get back to her homeland. He says he’s a part time care taker at the old memorial cemetery and lives in an old place next to it, no one would question a coffin and she would be safe there.

Dierdra is fearful at first but something about this man makes her feel she can trust him, she asks him his name, “Dan.” When she asks Dan why he does not fear her or the consequences of helping her, he assures her he knows how to protect himself and provide a racist free environment where all are equal, even vampires.

Deirdra moves her humble coffin to the lot next to the cemetery where she is free to do as she pleases, but still unhappy. One evening she notices a commotion across the cemetery, it’s a night club. She is curios, puts on something sexy and goes for a stroll. Before she gets close, the cat calls are coming and she begins to get the attention of some creepy characters. She disregards them knowing the power she has and the discipline vampires reserve as to when it’s used.

She enters the club and selects a place at the bar where a group of young men are deciding who should be the first to accost her. The first one approaches and is just a kid way out of his league and slightly drunk. He and his friends become obnoxious and follow her out of the bar, being cocky, rude and overbearing. She leads them into the cemetery to a secluded spot and stops, turns around. She instantly turns to smoke and subdues them all. As she is ready to kill the first one, a hand comes to her shoulder, it’s Dan. He says to her calmly “I’m sorry, this is a catch and release state,…”.

Back at home, Dan confesses he is actually Dan Dracula, Son of Dracula, or one of a couple he knows of, but one nonetheless. His mother was the oldest wife and he was born a few hundred years before her. He has been living here wanting to return to the home land, but his reputation there is in shambles. He has only one fang due to all the cocaine he did in the 80’s, split from dad because he did not want to go back to London in the fog just to “perpetuate the family trade and tradition”, as he put it, so he’s been hiding out, living out a meager death among a well fed population that presents many dangers for an urban vampire. Depending who you get, there can be unwanted pharmaceuticals in  their blood or protein powder taste, Dan hates that.

They both realize that their unity is inevitable and decide to build a life together in Los Angeles, art galleries being their main, night time attraction. They open up a gallery in an out of the way place and notice across from them an odd looking Swami Palm Reading store. People seemed to go in but never come out. Deirdra decides to walk across the way and opens the door, there sits Narcy Temple, now a vampire herself who says “A little competition to keep you on your toes,…. Deirdra.”

logoy2